why...

does it really have to be this unfair!? as in totally unfair...
i hate it... i can't take this anymore!
it seems that my world's been caged and locked up from all of you guys...
will this entirely be my destiny!?
when will this end!?....
i feel like moving in a slow motion...but
the world around me is in a fast paced that i can't seem to keep up....
i feel like i'm just a dummy... a puppet... with no value at all...
i feel like a multi-colored fireworks that lights up the dark sky...
you see its beauty for a while but after a few second,
with just a quick blink of your eyes... boom.! it's all gone..
and all that is left of it,,,,

NOTHING...

just a thin layer of smoke that envelopes the atmosphere...
the year just started but all I'm feeling is emptiness,,,
i know somethings' missing...
a small part of my life's empty and shallow
all these emptiness, loneliness, guilt feelings, anger, fear, disgust, all this mixed up emotions that i feel...
i just don't understand it... :'c

but still i thank God for giving me all of these hardship in life because now, i realize that i just have to trust God and i know that everything will be all right...all these negativity and emptiness...it's nothing...it's just God's way of telling me that "hey, you were never alone...I've been and will always be here for you through thick and thin..."